Things have been a little nuts lately in my life, and while I know every thing happens for a reason and remind myself that God's timing is always perfect, sometimes it's hard to just wake up and believe that when nothing has really changed day after day. I feel weaker than I do strong, sadder than I do happy, and lonely more than I feel loved. Have you ever felt these things...for whatever reasons you may have or situations you're dealing with? When you feel this way, it's hard to find things that fill your cup and bring happiness to your life...because you're not getting to live the life you want -- it's as simple as that.
I'm right there with you right now, and while I do find it hard to keep going sometimes, the reality of whatever situation we're dealing with is that it's out of our control. In the grand scheme of things, we can't control the entire reality of our lives. That's a hard concept to grasp, but it's what I've found to be the reason I'm feeling weak, sad, and lonely...and reality is that life isn't supposed to be lived feeling that way! The little things we have in life and can do in life every day make us strong, happy, and loved!
It's easy to get caught up in the things in life that make it hard -- like I said, I'm struggling with that right now. But what about focusing on the things we can control? What we eat for breakfast, how we treat others, if we take the time to do something for another person, or what we expose ourselves to in the news and things happening in the world are all things we can control. And, if we look at those smaller things versus the big picture, reality doesn't seem to be too bad.
My situation right now is that Joe and I are still not living in the same place. It's hard, and every day I wish we could just come home to each other...as does he. Right now though, that's not the reality we're able to live. So instead of wallowing in that fact and missing him (or just feeling sorry for myself), I can control what I do each day to let him know that I love him...even if it's from afar!
This post from a friend really helped put things in perspective for me, and I hope it can do the same for you:
I want closure in the sense that I am finally able to open up my hands and say to God, “You get all of it. You can have all of it. I will not try to hold onto it any longer.”
I forget that everything belongs to God. I forget that on too regular of a basis. I am a faulty human who wants so badly to just control and keep everything. - Hannah Brencher
It's okay to have bad days...that's part of reality! But, don't let the situation that's out of your control jade you of what is in your control and the things that can fill your cup! Hang in there...and remember that every day is a new day!
May your cup always be filled with joy, love, and happiness!
Anna
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